The Uninspired

Trouble is, I’m totally clueless and uninspired. Deciding to begin this cyber journey, I am feeling not at all like a journalist.

If you know my name at all, you probably know it from some community publication you might have read in eastern North Carolina or central Virginia. Given my resume, I ought to be someone “with a clue” and I ought to be “inspired.”

When the Duke men’s basketball wins a national championship, I swoon like a love-struck, pimply-faced teenager for days. I am unable to provide a rationalization for this, other than I went to high school about 10 blocks from Duke’s East Campus.

When the Lady Tar Heels had Mia Hamm and the crowd that followed, those championships were cause for about a 5-minute swelling of that home-state pride.

Watching Roy Williams and company pummel that Big 10 school last year was awesome. It’s not the same feeling I get from a Coach K experience, but it qualifies me as a fan, I think, of UNC, too. And I did go to Chapel Hill for one year.

My father went to NC State (don’t we all go there?) and it was an NC State team that really shaped my destiny as an avid ACC fan -- men’s basketball again. Thank you Terry Gannon, Cozell McQueen, Lorenzo Charles, Thurl Bailey, Dereck Whittenburg, Sidney Lowe and Jim Valvano.

But aside from a few wrestling titles, my Wolfpack pride hasn’t had much reason to howl since 1983.

My favorite football team, however, is usually Georgia Tech. I couldn’t quote too many statistics or recite players’ names and such, but the aura of such a prestigious program is entrancing. Despite my loyalty to Tobacco Road, Carter-Finley and company can’t hold a candle to the football atmosphere surrounding and converging for a home game in Atlanta.

Schools like Wake Forest and Virginia -- teams that have enjoyed no championships in football or basketball -- are schools I cheer for, but I don’t get too bummed when they lose. It comes as a shock when a Duncan or Sampson or Ryan can’t lead his or her team to ultimate victory, but these schools have never had that moment in the spotlight, so it’s just a “shock” not a “blow.”

Anyway, I was talking about me, wasn’t I?

Oh yes, how I’m clueless and uninspired. I guess that might show by now.

An almost-all-ACC women’s Final Four should be all I need to inspire me. That was pretty cool. I just love the way a whole conference can dominate in basketball. With short seasons and too many make-it-or-break-it games, conferences can’t really do that in football.

Anyway, belated congrats to Maryland, Duke, Carolina and the Lady Eagles of Boston College for their victory over No. 1-seed Ohio State in the tourney. Loved that.

You see, my ACC allegiance also translates to irrationally negative thoughts about other conferences, especially the Big East, the SEC, the Big 10, the Big 12, the PAC 10, Mountain West, the WAC, the West Coast conference and super-especially the whiny Missouri Valley Conference.

Ugh, I remember one game when the fans started chanting “M-V-C” when it was apparent that one of those corn-fed teams had managed to bore its opponent to an early death in the men’s tournament.

By contrast, the Colonial Athletic Association was a lot of fun to watch. That’s why they have fans. I mean the teams.

All those George Mason fans in the Washington regional might have included some recent converts, but I bet the UNC-Wilmington kids imploring George Washington to “feel the teal” stayed home and watched the Mason games on TV and cheered in private for their conference rivals like decent folk do.

Yeah, they probably chanted “C-A-A” at some point. I blocked it out. But I didn’t hear a single CAA coach complain about getting “no respect” every time I sponged up some sports talk. That really spoiled the milk for me.

More importantly, all the CAA games I saw on TV this year were actually entertaining. I saw Creighton, Northern Iowa, Wichita State twice, Missouri State, Bradley twice and Southern Illinois on TV this year. Except for the Salukis’ choke at home against Louisiana Tech, the games were all the same. Put me to sleep.

Florida was fun. I never really rooted against them. I just hated UCLA.

I must confess the Big East tournament was exciting. But what was even better – George Mason beating UConn. Hilarious.

So yeah, I’m all about hating the teams that are different and strange to me. I’m a Tar Heel born and a Tar Heel bred and when I die I’ll be a Tar Heel dead. If you’ve never heard that before, chances are you like SEC football or Big 10 basketball or PAC 10 water polo. You go enjoy that.

All things ACC are just better, that’s all.

I don’t know how interesting any of this is, but there it is. To give you an idea of my mindset, here’s how I prefaced this essay to Patrick, my one-time flunkie and now my boss.

I asked that he “e-mail me back and tell me where to find my first exclusively cyber publication, regardless. Am I to be on the blog or archive or am I to have a new header entirely?”

I told you I went to Chapel Hill for a year.

Snob stains never really come out.

- Ron Hasson

(Ed. note: We will overlook Ron's claim of being both a Duke and Carolina fan. We at ACC Nation know that would, if true, cause the world to implode.)